Imagine a sad but all-too-frequent occurrence. A child becomes a problem too great for his or her family to cope with.

Maybe the child is depressed and suicidal, or a runaway, or learning disabled, or has minimal coping skills and is distrustful of adults. What happens to the child?

If the child were unlucky enough to live in the 1880s, he or she would probably find himself or herself packed onto The Orphanage Train. The train would travel from the East Coast to the West Coast, making frequent stops along the way.

At the various stops, the children would be paraded for the locals to see. If a farmer saw a strong-looking one who might help with the field work, he could take the child and adopt him on the spot.

A child who was sickly or disturbed was unlikely to be picked. When The Orphanage Train reached San Francisco, the child's fate was institutionalization.

"Fortunately we are a lot more humane in how we treat such children today," says Gary Frye, the Director of Maple Shade Youth and Family Services, Inc. and the one who tells the story of The Orphanage Train.

Maple Shade celebrates its 30th Anniversary this month, and Frye likes to reflect on how far we've come. The days of the Orphanage Train were long gone, but even so, in 1970 there was no facility on the Eastern Shore for handling troubled and abused children.

They weren't sent to California, but they were sent across the Bridge, which, from a therapeutic point of view, was unfortunate. "The problem," explains Frye, "is that if you live in an institution, you learn how to function in an institution, and you don't learn how to live at home."

The youngsters who went to institutions tended to stay in institutions. Thirty years ago, Ray Matheu and some of his Jaycee friends came up with a better approach.

Matheu and his associates created a facility that would keep children near their families, with the hope that after appropriate treatment, the children could be returned to their families. The goal was, and still is, to help children remain in their homes or to return them there rapidly.

In a typical year, Maple Shade serves about 200 children , ages 7 to 19. The majority of these are outpatient, but Maple Shade provides a continuum of services, all the way from occasional visits to the child's home, to one-on-one care for the child in a residential setting.

Actually, the very highest level of care is a two-on-one situation. There's a client there now whom no other facility in the state would accept because she's a fire starter.

Before coming to Maple Shade, when she was frustrated, she'd sneak into a room by herself, take a piece of her clothing and hold it over a light bulb until she had a fire going. She'd then use the ignited fabric to set the room afire. She had already burned down a building by the time she got to Maple Shade.

Today the Maple Shade counselors help her, as they help other disturbed children, by providing a safe, positive atmosphere. Psychologists, social workers and educators help her learn to manage her feelings and to trust others and care about them.

They're teaching her social skills, such as eating meals together, passing food, and learning to wait her turn. They also teach conversational skills that enable clients to connect with and relate to others.

The counselors also put a lot of effort into teaching all their clients emotional skills, such as how to handle frustration and how to live with delayed gratification. Or how to diffuse a confrontation.

Gary Frye is optimistic for her future. He's optimistic for all of clients.

He's seen that the programs work and really do address the needs of troubled and abused children. He loves to watch the successes that happen when, with Maple Shade's help, a child is able to remain with his or her family, or to be safely returned there. It's what's kept him at it for 20 years.

Maple Shade is an Agency of the United Way Maple Shade

Wish List:

• Pat Stewart, the secretary there, wishes people would donate the following, and in the case of the clothing items, it's okay if they're used as long as they're in good condition: Bathrobes for children 7 to 18, Slippers, Winter gloves and mittens, Galoshes
• Toiletry items such as toothpaste, soaps, shampoos. The travel sizes that you pick up from hotels would be great
• Soap dishes
• School supplies such as pencils, notebooks

Maple Shade Youth and Family Services 23704 Ocean Gateway, Mardela Springs, MD 21837 410-742-7400